Modern Day Noah Only Bringing Amoeba On Ark

Should a cataclysmic flood destroy the world and wipe out all the species of animals on the planet, a modern Noah has confirmed he will only bring a single amoeba on his ark.

“Everything points to the theory of evolution being this real thing,” Noah explained. “So why go through all the trouble of gathering up every animal on the planet. Two of every animal. By the time I get around to doing that, the entire planet will look like a Wet ‘N Wild Water Park in February.”

“So I’m just gonna grab me a little amoeba from a lab or something and set sail. Once I find dry land, I’ll let the little guy loose and we’ll see what happens. It’ll be like hitting reset on those old Nintendo consoles. Either we’ll be back in the game or I’ll have to blow on it and try again.”

“I’m almost positive Darwin was right. I mean he put a lot of thought into it. A lot. He studied this thing up and down. So it should work.”

Noah said regardless of whether it works or not, he’ll bring the Hunger Games books to pass the time. He hasn’t seen the movies yet, for some reason he’s just not that big a fan of Jennifer Lawrence.

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